12 years ago
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Dead Sparrows
Dead Sparrows Dead Sparrows Dead Sparrows Dead Sparrows Dead Sparrows Dead Sparrows Dead Sparrows Dead Sparrows Dead Sparrows Dead Sparrows Dead Sparrows Dead Sparrows Dead Sparrows Dead Sparrows Dead Sparrows Dead Sparrows Dead Sparrows Dead Sparrows
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Buying movies
I actually can't remember the last time I bought a movie, but it has been at least 3 or 4 years. However, I just made my first purchase in an extremely long time. And it was this:
BLU-RAY BITCHES!!!! The greatest post-apocalyptic dragon movie of all time now in 1080p with 5.1-channel, 48 kHz, 16-bit uncompressed audio. My PS3 anxiously awaits the arrival of my new purchase from whatever ebay location it was purchased from.
Granted, this came out over 2 years ago but I am a little behind the time on my blu-ray release schedules.
And just to drop some science on you, there are 2 other creatures on the planet besides dormant dragons underneath London that secrete separate chemicals in their mouths to create poison: the bombardier beetle and the spitting cobra (although neither of the two's chemicals combine to create nitro-napalm). I will think of that every time I watch possibly the most wonderfully over-acted scene in the movie.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
HA
The above NY Post headline is hilarious on so many levels,
but this Calvin and Hobbes strip is funny on different levels.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Movie Corner - Reviews
Hey Movie Buffs,
I was born with three thumbs so naturally I was a destiny'd to be a movie critic. Here are some films that have passed by my desk of late.
Transformers 2: GREAT FLICK! Watched it twice already...Megan Fox kinda looks busted in this one though, probably from fighting so many robots in the first film. Sam Wikipedia (Shia LeBouf) doesn't mind though cause his car is still into her (Autobot Bumblebee) and wont let him see anyone else; plus she's a mechanic so I think there is some sort of underlying love triangle going on. Anyways, the humans and Autobots win this round again, but can they handle a 3rd round from the Decepticons? I dunno but I CANNOT WAIT to find out!
I Love You, Man: Weirdly hits home for me (read: I don't have friends). Paul Rudd turns in yet another Oscar worth performance and Jason Seigel seems pretty cool too.
Woodstock; Then and Now: Hippies realize yet again that they have run low on their stash and attempt to cash in on the one thing they did right 40 years ago. Jimi Hendrix is still awesome/dead. This movie is good if you were there, which you weren't, so it's not.
Don't Mess With the Zohan: Pretty terrible. But if you live in the city (im guessing pretty much any city), its got some great/funny commentary on the Israeli and Palestinian shop owner stereotypes. Weirdly enough Rob Schneider makes a cameo. Do you remember that Looney Tunes where that little dog is always hanging around the bulldog going, "what are we gonna do boss, huh, huh, huh?" Rob Schneider is like that little dog, always riding Adam Sandler's coattails and shit. He should have pursued that roll where he played a gigalo more.
Muppets Movies: Still awesome, cant be beat.
Monsters vs. Aliens: This was really dumb attempt at cashing in on other more awesome animated films (ref: Monsters, Wall-E). Its kinda like Robots in that way, I shut it off.
The Wackness: This is a pretty good movie about the weird time between high school and college. I barely remember it but it's still a good movie. There are a lot of drugs in this movie but they serve a good purpose; as always. I kinda wish I grew up in NYC after watching this movie, kinda, cause the main character seems cooler than I am now...which I guess isn't that hard.
Three Thumbs Up!
I was born with three thumbs so naturally I was a destiny'd to be a movie critic. Here are some films that have passed by my desk of late.
Transformers 2: GREAT FLICK! Watched it twice already...Megan Fox kinda looks busted in this one though, probably from fighting so many robots in the first film. Sam Wikipedia (Shia LeBouf) doesn't mind though cause his car is still into her (Autobot Bumblebee) and wont let him see anyone else; plus she's a mechanic so I think there is some sort of underlying love triangle going on. Anyways, the humans and Autobots win this round again, but can they handle a 3rd round from the Decepticons? I dunno but I CANNOT WAIT to find out!
I Love You, Man: Weirdly hits home for me (read: I don't have friends). Paul Rudd turns in yet another Oscar worth performance and Jason Seigel seems pretty cool too.
Woodstock; Then and Now: Hippies realize yet again that they have run low on their stash and attempt to cash in on the one thing they did right 40 years ago. Jimi Hendrix is still awesome/dead. This movie is good if you were there, which you weren't, so it's not.
Don't Mess With the Zohan: Pretty terrible. But if you live in the city (im guessing pretty much any city), its got some great/funny commentary on the Israeli and Palestinian shop owner stereotypes. Weirdly enough Rob Schneider makes a cameo. Do you remember that Looney Tunes where that little dog is always hanging around the bulldog going, "what are we gonna do boss, huh, huh, huh?" Rob Schneider is like that little dog, always riding Adam Sandler's coattails and shit. He should have pursued that roll where he played a gigalo more.
Muppets Movies: Still awesome, cant be beat.
Monsters vs. Aliens: This was really dumb attempt at cashing in on other more awesome animated films (ref: Monsters, Wall-E). Its kinda like Robots in that way, I shut it off.
The Wackness: This is a pretty good movie about the weird time between high school and college. I barely remember it but it's still a good movie. There are a lot of drugs in this movie but they serve a good purpose; as always. I kinda wish I grew up in NYC after watching this movie, kinda, cause the main character seems cooler than I am now...which I guess isn't that hard.
Three Thumbs Up!
Thursday, August 20, 2009
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! (that's a super high pitched scream)
What is the world coming too?
So I'm surfing the world wide web as i usually do after breakfast
you know tweeting, facebooking, myspacing the usual stuff i do
and i finally get to my favorite news source on the net YAHOO.COM
and what do i see!
a headline saying " Tom Cruises son following in his fathers footsteps. click here to see what eighties remake he's going to be in!"
a wave of nausea instantly came over me "Eighties remake?" i thought "God please don't let it be..."
I closed my eyes and clicked the link.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKK!!!
How the shit are you going to go and try to remake the greatest movie of all time?
They are going to remake RED DAWN!!!!!!!!!
That would be like some shitty writer trying to rewrite Have Spacesuit Will Travel!
It just can't be done!
I say again IT JUST CAN'T BE DONE!
i started crying and barfing and peeing and pooping and sneezing all at the same time!
they are going to kill it and fill it with crappy CGI and tom cruses' shitty kid is in it and god does Hollywood just hate me( picture me rolling around on the floor crying and whining or.. as david hasslfot in that drunk burger commercial he did)
just in case you have never seen Red Dawn, here, and you're welcome.
but i warn you be ready to experience the greatest movie ever made in motion picture history.
then i went to IMDB.com to see the cast list and
ok you know what i have to stop right here i'm just so pissed i can't even type.
i'll be back to write more soon.
So I'm surfing the world wide web as i usually do after breakfast
you know tweeting, facebooking, myspacing the usual stuff i do
and i finally get to my favorite news source on the net YAHOO.COM
and what do i see!
a headline saying " Tom Cruises son following in his fathers footsteps. click here to see what eighties remake he's going to be in!"
a wave of nausea instantly came over me "Eighties remake?" i thought "God please don't let it be..."
I closed my eyes and clicked the link.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKK!!!
How the shit are you going to go and try to remake the greatest movie of all time?
They are going to remake RED DAWN!!!!!!!!!
That would be like some shitty writer trying to rewrite Have Spacesuit Will Travel!
It just can't be done!
I say again IT JUST CAN'T BE DONE!
i started crying and barfing and peeing and pooping and sneezing all at the same time!
they are going to kill it and fill it with crappy CGI and tom cruses' shitty kid is in it and god does Hollywood just hate me( picture me rolling around on the floor crying and whining or.. as david hasslfot in that drunk burger commercial he did)
just in case you have never seen Red Dawn, here, and you're welcome.
but i warn you be ready to experience the greatest movie ever made in motion picture history.
then i went to IMDB.com to see the cast list and
ok you know what i have to stop right here i'm just so pissed i can't even type.
i'll be back to write more soon.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Where Does Everybody Hangout?
Im just gonna post Dead Sparrows propaganda until everyone else shows up again
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
You know what really grinds my gears?
Yesterday, like a kid on christmas morning I cracked open the 4th and last book in a hugely popular teen novel series which shall remain unnamed. This was exciting. Each book is about 150 or so odd pages longer than the last and this one is 755 pages to be exact and should successfully distract me from life for some time.
But, about 100 pages in, I finally let myself be truly annoyed by something that nagged at me throughout the last two of the three books I'd read — the constant recaps and summarization, sometimes long-winded, of each character's personality and history. Now, I've been laying in bed so pissed and thinking about it and I've got a hunch that this was something the author was required to do by the publisher for readers who might pick up only one random book in the series. Why would anyone only read one book in an amazingly awesome and entertaining series? I could see them picking up the first book (because they loved the movie so much) but the second? Third?
Well, what about the true fans who have made such a solid commitment (most of my free-time this summer so far, speaking personally) to this series? We know the effing characters because they've become our friends (and enemies), we name our pets...no, we buy pets so that we can name them after characters, we dream about being them, we dress up like them and make our lovers reenact our favorite parts of the story (or we play both parts alone), we make edible portraits of them out of our food and then slowly savor each bite, we forget to shower and eat or sleep because we want to have our heads in their world for as long as we can, we almost drown in the bathtub when things go wrong but save ourselves so we won't miss what happens next... my point is we deserve to not be treated like we are so stupid or uncommitted that we can't remember who these people are, even if we are only 13. Don't get us excited about an extra 150 pages of drama if it's just shit we already know.
And that's what really grinds my gears.
But, about 100 pages in, I finally let myself be truly annoyed by something that nagged at me throughout the last two of the three books I'd read — the constant recaps and summarization, sometimes long-winded, of each character's personality and history. Now, I've been laying in bed so pissed and thinking about it and I've got a hunch that this was something the author was required to do by the publisher for readers who might pick up only one random book in the series. Why would anyone only read one book in an amazingly awesome and entertaining series? I could see them picking up the first book (because they loved the movie so much) but the second? Third?
Well, what about the true fans who have made such a solid commitment (most of my free-time this summer so far, speaking personally) to this series? We know the effing characters because they've become our friends (and enemies), we name our pets...no, we buy pets so that we can name them after characters, we dream about being them, we dress up like them and make our lovers reenact our favorite parts of the story (or we play both parts alone), we make edible portraits of them out of our food and then slowly savor each bite, we forget to shower and eat or sleep because we want to have our heads in their world for as long as we can, we almost drown in the bathtub when things go wrong but save ourselves so we won't miss what happens next... my point is we deserve to not be treated like we are so stupid or uncommitted that we can't remember who these people are, even if we are only 13. Don't get us excited about an extra 150 pages of drama if it's just shit we already know.
And that's what really grinds my gears.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Divide and Conquer
Hey my sister visits and she brought some strange cloud formations with her...weird
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
R.I.P Jay Bennett
Earlier this week former multi-insturmentalist of the band Wilco passed away. Jay was a huge contributor to many Wilco albums including Being There, Summerteeth, and Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, as well as their Mermaid Avenue collaborations with Billy Bragg. His presence in the band was greatly noticed and deeply appreciated by fans. A perfectionist and a true lost soul Jay will be missed. The following is a video of Jay and Jeff Tweedy performing a raw version of "Cars cant escape" The video shows the wonderful dynamic that these two very talented musicians shared and also reflects the mood of the moment. R.I.P Jay.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Sports Savior
Just when you thought sports were going down the tubes when no one would let Oil Can Boyd try a comeback, Clay Zavada goes and redeems all of sports with this killer freaking 'stache. Here's hoping for a long, storied career for Mr. Zavada
Rollie Fingers, you're on notice.
Rollie Fingers, you're on notice.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Happiness
Sometimes I wonder about what on earth makes me the happiest. What out there brings more joy to me than anything else. Freshly baked cookies, oreo blizzards with extra oreo, the love of a good woman, the scene in Airplane when Joey visits the cockpit.
But it isn't any of those things. What really brings me consistent unconditional joy is wolf shirts. A good wolf shirt with the requisite wolf, moon and lightning, with or without an indian chief's shadowy face and/or soaring eagle in the sky, brings me about as much pure happiness a man can feel.
I think you may share this with me as well, although you may not want to admit it. But when we're in a truck stop late at night, deciding whether to buy that Billboard Hits 1985 CD, and we pass by that rack of beautiful screened wolf shirts, we all flirt with them a little, walking by a little slower, letting our gaze linger as we stroll past, not wanting others to see our desire.
Which is why I just spent a large portion of time reading the reviews of other wolf shirt lovers out there at this page. Amazon Wolf Shirt. The reviews are excellent, and the "Customers Who Viewed this Item Also Viewed" section is stellar as well.
Love your wolf shirt:
But it isn't any of those things. What really brings me consistent unconditional joy is wolf shirts. A good wolf shirt with the requisite wolf, moon and lightning, with or without an indian chief's shadowy face and/or soaring eagle in the sky, brings me about as much pure happiness a man can feel.
I think you may share this with me as well, although you may not want to admit it. But when we're in a truck stop late at night, deciding whether to buy that Billboard Hits 1985 CD, and we pass by that rack of beautiful screened wolf shirts, we all flirt with them a little, walking by a little slower, letting our gaze linger as we stroll past, not wanting others to see our desire.
Which is why I just spent a large portion of time reading the reviews of other wolf shirt lovers out there at this page. Amazon Wolf Shirt. The reviews are excellent, and the "Customers Who Viewed this Item Also Viewed" section is stellar as well.
Love your wolf shirt:
Thursday, May 7, 2009
The world's hardest riddle
I turn polar bears white
and I will make you cry.
I make guys have to pee
and girls comb their hair.
I make celebrities look stupid
and normal people look like celebrities.
I turn pancakes brown
and make your champagne bubble.
If you squeeze me, I'll pop.
If you look at me, you'll pop.
Can you guess the riddle?
97% of Harvard graduates can not figure this riddle out, but 84% of kindergarten students were able to figure this out in 6 minutes or less. Can you guess the correct answer?
and I will make you cry.
I make guys have to pee
and girls comb their hair.
I make celebrities look stupid
and normal people look like celebrities.
I turn pancakes brown
and make your champagne bubble.
If you squeeze me, I'll pop.
If you look at me, you'll pop.
Can you guess the riddle?
97% of Harvard graduates can not figure this riddle out, but 84% of kindergarten students were able to figure this out in 6 minutes or less. Can you guess the correct answer?
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