Movie Corner - Reviews

Hey Movie Buffs,

I was born with three thumbs so naturally I was a destiny'd to be a movie critic. Here are some films that have passed by my desk of late.

Transformers 2: GREAT FLICK! Watched it twice already...Megan Fox kinda looks busted in this one though, probably from fighting so many robots in the first film. Sam Wikipedia (Shia LeBouf) doesn't mind though cause his car is still into her (Autobot Bumblebee) and wont let him see anyone else; plus she's a mechanic so I think there is some sort of underlying love triangle going on. Anyways, the humans and Autobots win this round again, but can they handle a 3rd round from the Decepticons? I dunno but I CANNOT WAIT to find out!

I Love You, Man: Weirdly hits home for me (read: I don't have friends). Paul Rudd turns in yet another Oscar worth performance and Jason Seigel seems pretty cool too.

Woodstock; Then and Now: Hippies realize yet again that they have run low on their stash and attempt to cash in on the one thing they did right 40 years ago. Jimi Hendrix is still awesome/dead. This movie is good if you were there, which you weren't, so it's not.

Don't Mess With the Zohan: Pretty terrible. But if you live in the city (im guessing pretty much any city), its got some great/funny commentary on the Israeli and Palestinian shop owner stereotypes. Weirdly enough Rob Schneider makes a cameo. Do you remember that Looney Tunes where that little dog is always hanging around the bulldog going, "what are we gonna do boss, huh, huh, huh?" Rob Schneider is like that little dog, always riding Adam Sandler's coattails and shit. He should have pursued that roll where he played a gigalo more.

Muppets Movies: Still awesome, cant be beat.

Monsters vs. Aliens: This was really dumb attempt at cashing in on other more awesome animated films (ref: Monsters, Wall-E). Its kinda like Robots in that way, I shut it off.

The Wackness: This is a pretty good movie about the weird time between high school and college. I barely remember it but it's still a good movie. There are a lot of drugs in this movie but they serve a good purpose; as always. I kinda wish I grew up in NYC after watching this movie, kinda, cause the main character seems cooler than I am now...which I guess isn't that hard.
Three Thumbs Up!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! (that's a super high pitched scream)

What is the world coming too?
So I'm surfing the world wide web as i usually do after breakfast
you know tweeting, facebooking, myspacing the usual stuff i do
and i finally get to my favorite news source on the net YAHOO.COM
and what do i see!
a headline saying " Tom Cruises son following in his fathers footsteps. click here to see what eighties remake he's going to be in!"
a wave of nausea instantly came over me "Eighties remake?" i thought "God please don't let it be..."
I closed my eyes and clicked the link.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKK!!!

How the shit are you going to go and try to remake the greatest movie of all time?
They are going to remake RED DAWN!!!!!!!!!
That would be like some shitty writer trying to rewrite Have Spacesuit Will Travel!
It just can't be done!
I say again IT JUST CAN'T BE DONE!
i started crying and barfing and peeing and pooping and sneezing all at the same time!
they are going to kill it and fill it with crappy CGI and tom cruses' shitty kid is in it and god does Hollywood just hate me( picture me rolling around on the floor crying and whining or.. as david hasslfot in that drunk burger commercial he did)

just in case you have never seen Red Dawn, here, and you're welcome.
but i warn you be ready to experience the greatest movie ever made in motion picture history.
then i went to IMDB.com to see the cast list and
ok you know what i have to stop right here i'm just so pissed i can't even type.
i'll be back to write more soon.

Where Does Everybody Hangout?

Im just gonna post Dead Sparrows propaganda until everyone else shows up again

Dead Sparrows - Mercury Lounge 8/6/09

You know what really grinds my gears?

Yesterday, like a kid on christmas morning I cracked open the 4th and last book in a hugely popular teen novel series which shall remain unnamed. This was exciting. Each book is about 150 or so odd pages longer than the last and this one is 755 pages to be exact and should successfully distract me from life for some time.

But, about 100 pages in, I finally let myself be truly annoyed by something that nagged at me throughout the last two of the three books I'd read — the constant recaps and summarization, sometimes long-winded, of each character's personality and history. Now, I've been laying in bed so pissed and thinking about it and I've got a hunch that this was something the author was required to do by the publisher for readers who might pick up only one random book in the series. Why would anyone only read one book in an amazingly awesome and entertaining series? I could see them picking up the first book (because they loved the movie so much) but the second? Third?

Well, what about the true fans who have made such a solid commitment (most of my free-time this summer so far, speaking personally) to this series? We know the effing characters because they've become our friends (and enemies), we name our pets...no, we buy pets so that we can name them after characters, we dream about being them, we dress up like them and make our lovers reenact our favorite parts of the story (or we play both parts alone), we make edible portraits of them out of our food and then slowly savor each bite, we forget to shower and eat or sleep because we want to have our heads in their world for as long as we can, we almost drown in the bathtub when things go wrong but save ourselves so we won't miss what happens next... my point is we deserve to not be treated like we are so stupid or uncommitted that we can't remember who these people are, even if we are only 13. Don't get us excited about an extra 150 pages of drama if it's just shit we already know.

And that's what really grinds my gears.

THE SPOT LIGHT!

Mmmm. Beards

www.sexiestbeardsonearth.com/hughjackmanaswolverine