wild prognostications -> reality

Some may remember many years ago (2004) when God delivered to me, while eating a Culver's Double ButterBurger Deluxe, the idea of a vanity cell phone whose LCD display morphed into an electrochemical mirror via the push of a button. This has since become somewhat a reality: LG Shine.

That future altering prediction falls a distant second to a more recent one.

I work with NERDs; a statement worthy of caps. In fact, no superlative or hyperbole could accurately render the image of the type of socially inept, asexual pod person that becomes a UNIX sys admin and inevitably works with me. Well, this surprisingly speaks volumes, though most are not bold enough to wear the suit they so desperately wish was made in their size. It is not uncommon that I'm reluctant audience to a handful of overweight albino basement gnomes squabbling about IEEE standards and whether or not Linus Torvalds watches Battlestar Galactica. It is a dark realm of heightened electronic siege and unconsidered reproductive appendages that you'll likely be spared, as most have achieved invisibility around normals.

A few weeks ago, one such high powered mutant came up with such a far fetched, yet curiously possible idea. The grizzled soothsayer was fed a joke that somehow related to camping in the snow, and almost instinctively regurgitated a brilliant Star Wars reference: "Wouldn't it be fucking awesome if they made a sleeping bag modeled after a shaggy Tauntaun?" We collaborated in our vision of the product: a cloth tail along the spine at the base, a stuffed head pillow, furry appendages on both the top and bottom flaps, fluffy Tauntaun guts as insulating stuffing, a built-in audio chip with the classic "and I thought these things smelled bad on the outside" and an optional bad smell module at a nominal fee. A novel idea ... that someone (independently?) must have thought was worthy of an April Fools joke:

Slumber in the Belly of the Beast

Apparently the farce was so popular that they plan on attempting to actually manufacture this.

We didn't envision the lightsaber zipper; a truly brilliant touch -- perhaps you could tie it in to the audio chip and have it cue the lightsaber sound and the Han Solo quote.

My mind exploded when I saw this. This is the shit that gives me hope.