JM vs. the Cockroach

Spring is upon us and for me that mostly means resuming my epic struggle against cockroaches.

I pride myself on being able to keep a cool head when one of these lil fuckers makes its presence known and because of this, I have become skilled in assassinating them one at a time...deliberatly and without guilt or remorse.

I don't believe that any species should outlive our nuclear war. We made the bombs, not them, what do they bring to the table in the total annihilation game? Nothing, plus they're pretty gross looking in general.

My favorite style is the straight up foot squash, but this is not always the most effective because these guys are fast and can go places your foot is rendered ineffective. Also, I've heard this spreads their eggs. That's where having the proper tools makes all the difference.

This is a good one. My girl has got these things laying all over the house and they're good for sweeping them out of cracks and corners; cause lets face it, cockroaches are super thin!

Also, having an empty coffee can or glass-that-you-don't-drink-out-of helps too when you want so savor the victory and flush them down the ole water works. But if you go with this method, have something flat handy...like a CD ready to go. But honestly I don't trust that they're dying and not just making a huge sewer society or something. Use with caution!

But the most important weapon of all is consistency. These guys talk, and if it becomes known that you're the type of household that let's them do their thing and get away with it, pretty soon they're gonna be all up in your kitchen eating your cereal...FUCK THAT!

So these things are ninjas too; you get a split second to be surprised, thats perfectly acceptable, but then your next steps are to remain calm, assess the situation, arm yourself and get to it.